Often when we think of habits we automatically think of “bad ones”.
Smoking.
Drinking alcohol.
Eating junk food.
There are just a few that come to mind – and don’t feel bad if this was your first thought too because as humans, we have a negativity bias meaning we’re likely to ALWAYS zone in on the bad stuff first. But the word “habit” is actually neutral – it’s merely something that we do consistently, for example locking the door when we leave the house, or making a cup of tea or coffee in the morning when we get to the kitchen. But I’m here to talk about “good” habits, by which I mean everyday actions we consciously perform that have a long term purpose of improving and maintaining our health and wellbeing. Some of them you probably do already, like cleaning your teeth twice a day, journalling or having a day each week where you plan your meals before you go shopping (this is great one as it promotes healthy eating, saves you time and money and prevents decision fatigue at the end of a long day when you’re hungry!) But the point is, if we have healthy habits and keep doing them, we will notice benefits to our wellbeing in the long and short term. James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits (read it, it’s brilliant) emphasises that habits are there for lifelong health and wellbeing, not just to do until we reach a goal and then stop. If you’ve reached your wellbeing goals you want to maintain them, right? So maybe they need adjusting for maintenance rather than meeting.
Small changes can make a big difference to the quality of your life in the long term. All these little changes, or nudges, or behaviours that we perform, have an impact. Imagine it like a human butterfly effect. The little, positive choices you make now will add up and have an impact in the future, but be aware that the same goes for the not so positive ones! So how do you ensure that you’re performing these?
How are Habits Formed?
Habits are formed by repetition. There are many different suggestions about how long it takes a habit to be embedded in your life ranging from 21 days to 64 days depending on who you ask and where you look! But habits are usually when we respond to a cue in the environment with a behaviour. This might be forced at first, but over time the more you do it the easier it gets and the more naturally it becomes a part of your life. There are some things you’re used to doing at certain times of the day, for example getting up, having a shower and then making a drink and having breakfast. When you have habits which are already well-established, you can use these as “anchor points” to add in new ones – or maybe even replace old ones. For example if you want to add more mindful moments into your life, maybe when you have a shower you can use that time to be present; experiencing the sensations of the shower as they are, without any judgement or allowing your thoughts to wander. This will be different for everyone depending on what you want to do or change. But remember it’s a choice; a behaviour you are choosing to perform repeatedly so make sure it’s something you don’t find difficult or distressing.
Identifying Your Current Habits
Take some time to reflect on, or even better mindfully observe your day-to-day habits. Things you do on a regular basis. This is a bonus opportunity to practice mindfulness – being present – as well because a lot of the time we perform our habits on auto-pilot. What do you observe over the course of a day? A week? You’re only going to get anything beneficial from this if you really take the time to observe and record your habits, and also indicate if they’re good for your long (or short term) goals or not. What impact do your current habits have on your life?
Take some time to really think about how your habits, over time, will have a positive or negative impact on your life. Often we think that “just one won’t make a difference” but if you add up all of those “just one” incidents, well, they definitely do. And that’s for good or for bad!
Small Changes, Big Impact
Small, consistent changes can lead to substantial improvements over time. For example drinking more water, incorporating daily exercise or practicing mindfulness. Are there things you could be adding to your routine that you’re not doing now that would make a difference? For example adding in some movement, not buying a “treat” when you do your weekly shop, following a skincare routine? Those are just a few examples. Or maybe your goal is to save some money and go on holiday, what current behaviour change you change and replace it with putting the money aside into a separate account so that it will accumulate over time? Keep track of any changes as well through a habit tracker. Get yourself a nice notebook and follow your progress monthly, writing each day and date with a box for you to tick so you can see in real time how you’re doing. You can take this further by reflecting at the end of the month how you did and the impact you’ve notices, and how much closer you are to your goals – but don’t forget positive habits are for life and not just for short term if you REALLY want to get the best out of them! You can make it fun by setting challenges and rewards for yourself, for example “I’m going to read 10 pages of my book each day, and every 10 days I’m going to reward myself by
But What if you Forget or it Doesn’t Work?
You’ve been feeling so motivated and your plans for positive habit change have just started to take shape! But disaster – a change in routine means you simply forgot to do one of them. You’ve broken your streak! This is terrible! No wait, it’s not. One of the most common ways for people to stop trying with their habits is to give up completely if they miss, even once. It’s important to be kind to yourself whilst building new, positive habits – sometimes things in your day might change so you won’t have your usual cues to action in which case it’s almost inevitable you’re not going to be able to do it. Don’t despair! Draw a line under it, reflect what could be different next time and keep going. You can’t control everything around you – and that’s OK. If you’ve not been able to do it when you WERE in control, think about why this was. Have you set your expectations too high? Is this not the right habit for you to reach – and maintain – your goal? Sometimes your habits need to change as your life changes; as long as you’re heading in the right direction that’s OK too.
Take Home Messages
- Habits are behaviours we perform regularly that we incorporate into our lives, often subconsciously
- They often occur when prompted by an external cue, e.g. waking up, when it’s a break time or when certain things happen. (in other words “if this, then I do this”
- Habits can have a positive or negative impact on our goals, and our wellbeing
- They vary in time to get established
- Mindfulness can help us identify our habits and appraise whether they serve us or not
- Don’t beat yourself up if you forget – reflect on why you forgot or why you didn’t do it and adjust your plan if necessary