Well isn’t this typical, putting out a blog about ADHD awareness when the month is almost over?! That can be typical of ADHD though, especially as it presents in women. I’m going to share some of my experiences with you, to give an insight into the strength and beauty of a (suspected) ADHD brain. I haven’t had a formal diagnosis of ADHD, but learning a lot about the delights of living with a Neurodiverse brain (formally diagnosed as Autistic 4 years ago) I recognise a lot of traits in myself. Do I feel the need to pursue a formal diagnosis? Not at this stage, I’m pretty comfortable with my Neurotype, but that hasn’t come without a lot of learning, frustration, acceptance and cultivating a growth mindset.
A lot of women, whether diagnosed or not, seem to have in common the experience of “not belonging” or “not fitting in”. As social creatures, for humans this can be pretty devastating to be honest. Especially being a teenage girl, wanting to grow up and get on with it and not draw any unnecessary attention to the fact that you feel at times like an alien compared to everyone else.
Then as you reach adulthood – why does everyone seem to have their s**t together and just seem to know intuitively what to do? How to be? How to….. life? Take driving a car. Honestly, how did I pass my test and how can I be allowed to drive on the road with other people? As for household management – let’s say I’m grateful I have a very understanding and supportive partner! How on earth did I manage to obtain an undergraduate degree, and later a Masters and be able to set up my own business?
To answer the above – although sometimes it might be a struggle and not feel like it – I’m DOING it! Through identifying my strengths – like creative thinking, being able to articulate ideas and solutions to others, having compassion, understanding and empathy I can use my experience and understanding to help others. Whether it’s communication, self-confidence, organisation, productivity, managing anxiety – I’ve honed my skills to empower others to manage the things I’ve struggled with, and still do to a degree. And the intense focus granted sometimes is really helpful for ensuring I stay committed to a job or project and see it through to the end.
So being a woman who (probably) has ADHD and Autism, it’s taken me a while but I realise although I might need some help and support in some areas, on the whole the best I can do for myself is to *BE* myself, not feel I have to *FIX* myself. And go on to help others, and help them realise they don’t need fixing either but might need a hand to show a different way of thinking or doing. Look at where you shine and what makes you special. You don’t have a clue how to follow fashion or know what’s going to be in season? Me either! You don’t understand why some TV shows are incredibly popular? Me either! You have the house to yourself, and just don’t know what to do some days when others you’re a lean mean productive machine? Me too!
So to all those - especially women - out there with diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD – I see you 💓