“Why can’t you just do it?”
“You’ve had all day.”
“You’re just making excuses.”
I’ve heard those words more times than I can count — at school, at home, even in past workplaces. And every time, I felt a familiar mix of frustration, guilt, and self-doubt. Because I wanted to start the thing. I knew it needed doing. I could see the clock ticking. And yet — I was stuck.
This is what executive dysfunction can feel like. And if you’re autistic/have ADHD, or work with someone who is, you’ll know it’s not about laziness or avoidance. It’s about a brain that processes the world differently.
What is Executive Function?
Executive function is the brain’s control centre — the set of skills that help us:
- Start tasks (task initiation)
- Plan and organise
- Manage time and attention
- Remember things in the moment (working memory)
- Switch between tasks
- Resist distractions or impulses
Autistic people (and people with ADHD) often have executive function differences, and this can impact even basic daily life.
How It Shows Up
For me, it’s in the mountain of laundry that’s washed but never put away.
It’s the pile of admin I avoid until it spirals into panic.
It’s staring at a form for 2 hours and getting nowhere… until suddenly, it’s done in 10 minutes.
For others I support, it might look like:
- A young person who wants to revise but can’t start
- An adult who forgets appointments unless reminded multiple times
- A parent or carer frustrated that their autistic child “won’t” do something they seem perfectly capable of
Understanding that can’t doesn’t mean won’t is a game-changer.
Strategies That Actually Help
When I started building a toolkit that supported my brain, things changed. I use:
- ⏱ Timers and the Pomodoro technique – 25 minutes of focus, 5-minute breaks
- 📲 Apps like Trello and Samsung Reminder – and also putting things in my calendar app straight away!
- 🧾 Visual to-do lists — sometimes drawn with highlighters or stickers, not just words
I also, more importantly, recognise that sometimes things lose their “super power” and need to be adapted or changed. This isn’t failure; it’s accepting that my brain sometimes works differently in different environments.
Why We Talk About This in Our Course
In our Empower Autism: Navigating Life with Confidence course, we dedicate a whole session to executive function. Because when you’re autistic, understanding your own brain and building strategies that fit you is one of the most empowering things you can do.
We explore:
- What executive function is (and isn’t)
- Real-life examples of how it affects daily living
- Tools and techniques that actually work (not just “try harder”)
- How to build a routine without burning out
We also create space for families and support networks to better understand these challenges — so they can offer support without judgement.
You’re Not Broken — You Just Need the Right Tools
If any of this resonates, you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep struggling in silence.